I feel like I'm not allowed to be myself. To speak, sing,dance, or act freely. Like there is this wall between me and the girl I wanna be. It's so thick I feel as if I will never be strong enough to break it. I can claw, smash, and bang on it all I want but it I won't even produce a crack. I want to so badly break out of my shell and laugh and dance and sing as loud as I possibly can without being awkward or embarrassed by being judged on how I look. I feel like I'm not allowed to do these things because I'm not skinny. Because I don't wear a size 00 or extra-small. I feel un-pretty and un-beautiful, and sometimes un-loved. Like everyone around me doesn't want to be there. And that they would rather die than be seen with a girl like me. They would never tell me to my face for they fear for my feelings. The feelings of sadness and anger that have been slowly rising within me. I need to let these feelings out. But I fear that if i do let them free and become myself, that even my real friends, will hate who I will become.