Tell me everything's gonna be okay..

Lately a lot of things have gone wrong. Illness, un-happyness, and death follow me around. I touch a red rose, it turns to black, touch my heart, it starts to break. I feel as if i was a curse. Someone who moves in on a life and then all hell breaks loose in their life. I'm afraid that if I do change who I am on the outside, then I'll develop a certain piece of mind. I won't be myself, I know it. The girl who I am will die. I don't want her too but I have no choice. Nothing is ever my choice anymore. It's all chosen for me. I always think about when I'm going to get a car. To get to drive anywhere I wanted for no reason. But I know where I'd always go. Ever since I was little I've wanted to go to the cemetery by myself. To sit with those who only listen and give you silent answers. I long for that day. But just for now I want to go somewhere foreign and quiet and just cry for awhile.