Tic, Tac, Toe Four In A Row

I don't even know what to say, but I know exactly how I feel. I have so much anger and hatred built up against you right now, that the mention of you causes me to hulk out. I learned to today from someone close to you that you've lied to us a lot longer than we think, and that is disgusting. The fact that you can lie to your "best friends" effortlessly for years is a character trait that will be the death of you. All I can think about is how many lies you may have spun in my direction, or anyone else's, since I've met you. Since that December day I have been tuning more into your true frequency, and almost all I can hear is static. And to make matters worse, you've altered my relationship with two others. One friendship I've held onto and today is stronger than ever, but the other I was wrong about. I thought that things would be better now, but they've only gotten worse. It feels like nothing has changed. I still have that gut feeling that something is going on between them that is being hidden from me, and quite frankly I no longer care. If they want to be something they should go right ahead. I thought that my recent feelings towards him and our friendship were because their relationship began to make me feel insecure, just like it did in the past, but  I was wrong. I felt the way I did because I realized I deserved better. I always felt like I had to prove myself, or earn your affections, but in reality, you should have been trying to earn mine. I was hoping to talk to you face to face and say goodbye, but you don't even deserve it. I've never been more happy with this decision than I am right now. The only thing I regret was learning to trust again and feeling betrayed. I'm letting the situation go for now because I don't want the unnecessary drama in my life, and I don't want to hear excuses. I'm more than ready and willing to let people go in order to better my life and myself. College holds many new people, new mistakes, and new experiences for me, and I can't take everyone for the ride. I had put this blog on private late last night so only I could read it and I wouldn't have to worry about information finding the wrong ears, but that wasn't fair to me, or any random searcher looking for someone to connect with them. I shouldn't have to hide my feelings or my blog. So let's put up those tallies on the chart of best friends lost. I may have lost two in April more recently, but I lost the other two the moment that clock struck midnight this year. At least I can say one good thing...I GRADUATED.