Torn Between two Halves Of Myself

I'm just so confused. During various times of the day I feel like I have a heart of stone; like I just don't feel anything anymore. Other times I have too much emotion and it overwhelms me and my sense of reality/morality. I feel like I'm living a double life. One part of me is a stone cold bitch who just goes through the motions. The other part is like a mom trying to take care of every little thing and smothering every little thing with extreme empathy. Then there's those in between moments where I realize these two extremes and can't decide what to do about them! That moments now. The worst part is I would love to find a perfect medium, but it seems impossible. I can't stay in the right frame of mind enough to be one or the other. I just need a reason to be the real me, and very good one at that. Or maybe I just need that old one to walk right back into my life.