Yesterday was the one of the worst days ever. I lost it. All composure and control gone. I saw him and her and then it just hit me. I'm never gonna win. I always lose. There are always girls out there thinner or prettier and smarter than me. And they always win. They win the guy and the job and the friends. Which by the way fueled my little breakdown. I can never be myself around them. They make me feel insecure and give me a low self-esteem. I only have two that I can be myself with and that is one low ass number. I'm starting to open up with a new group that I do drama with. They make me feel so accepted and not alone and I have fun with them. Then the two people outside of that drama class are my best friend and new friend that is practically my sister. At least I like to think so. I can tell her anything and everything. My best friend too but since she doesn't have the same situation she doesn't understand as well as the other. I have so much more to say but to be honest right now, I really can't talk. My voice is stunned with silence and my eyes sown shut. Until day-light shines through I'm stuck here in the dark with secrets slowly slipping from my lips.
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