Countdown to Breakdown

It's February 111th and I don't even know what to do with myself! These past three months have been so incredibly hard, but amazing at the same time. I previously wrote about what happened on New Years...the best part is what follows. I am currently down one best friend, healing a wounded ego, and caring for a lonely heart. Just as everything else in my life seemed to come together everything else fell apart. I'm going to college! Auburn University to be exact and I can't wait to begin my new life away from here. People will finally get to see me for who I am and not who I hang out with. I'm exhilarated and nervous at the same time. As much as I want to leave this life behind me, it created me; I'm nothing without it. This place filled with judgement and lies and endless sadness will always be my home. All of the battles I've fought and lost, with friends and myself, will always be here to remind me of the struggles I went through. I'm ready to leave it all behind, but I'm not ready just yet to start new. I want to travel. Discover a bit more about what I love while on the road. I desperately want that opportunity. Right now I'm beginning to feel like my car is packed and ready to go, but I've brought things with me that I cannot take. I'm starting to unload those boxes. And while saying goodbye is hard, it's the best thing for me. I feel better, happier, stronger. And I can only move forward from here. We only have a few more months together. Once August rolls around I'll be gone and you'll be nothing but memories. Words of a past life. I'll always carry you with me; on my shelf and in my heart. 5 months 25 days.