The Pearl: A Tale About A Metamorphosis

Sometimes I wish time would just stop. There are moments for me when I feel like it has. When the clock ticking stops in your ears, and the rushes and sounds of life just silence. It's the most amazing feeling you could ever feel. I had one of those today. I drove around my town looking for answers, and I think I found them. Right now I feel like I have to hit rock bottom in order to build myself back up. The emotions hit me like a cinder block on Wiley Coyote. There was love, joy, sadness, hate, anger, guilt, and just hopelessness. I've been going through the motions lately, and not really working on all the stops. Each day that's passed my hearts been an unmoving stone. Shaken by none and stirred by no feelings. I hate the instant rush I felt. It was like getting caught under a big wave and getting salt in your mouth. I haven't been myself in so long I can't remember the last time I did something for myself. Where did I go? I lost my essence; my very purpose. I let the devil on my shoulder rule for too long, and now my angel's dying. i don't know how to save her. Maybe before I can save her, I have to kill her. I have to break her so badly that when she comes back she'll be unbreakable. I just want everyone to stand by and watch silently while I break her. No comments, questions, concerns, just faith. Faith that I will be back to who I was and what I was about. This isn't the me you want; no one wants this me. This me will be gone. Maybe not soon, but soon enough. I want to do this right. There's only one way to do this that I know. So this is for you, the one reading this right now, please don't bring this up, don't speak another word about it. When I'm ready I will, but for now leave the whispering to the wind. So let me swallow that salt water and get lost in the waves because when I come out I'll be that grain of salt that was turned into a pearl in the oyster.