I'm a just a breath away
Losing my faith today
Falling off the edge today
I am just a girl
Not superhuman
I'm not superhuman
Someone save me from the hate
It's just another war
My mind is rambling. Thoughts are being tossed around like salad. I don't even know who I am anymore or who I want to be. I am no longer my own. How do I take myself back? Right now I'm helping out behind the scenes of a play, it's ironic in a sense that this describes my life. Taking things on and off when it's convenient for someone else but not for me. My decisions are no longer my own. People are starting to make them for me. I need to get away from it all. I thought that now I would be free to relax and breathe. I thought wrong. I am holding my breath for something that won't happen, and wishful thinking won't do me good. I need someone to take me away, maybe to the beach or somewhere open and to just let me lie there. I need me time and I can't find a time. Today I went for a run in the rain and lemme tell you, it was unbelievable. Each pelt of rain felt like a surge of relief to my skin. My shirt clung to me for protection and I let it. I ran to the park to swing, and as I sat there I almost started to cry. I need someone to tell me what's going to happen. I can't live life not knowing. As I sat there on that swing I thought of these things, and the day I found out I was leaving. It was the same day as today, rainy and beautiful at the same time. I never expected to be told to go home, but then again I never expected not to be told to go home. When I stepped off of the mini bus and into that cafeteria, that was the moment my heart decided she hated me. Back then I knew my heart was going to hurt for a little, but what I didn't know is that every rainy day it still will hurt and it's still going to hurt until I earn her love back. Once I find that missing piece my heart will be mine again. I will be me again. And I will love again. At least until the rain starts and that song plays that reminds me of you.
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