It's Been a While

I wish I was someone else. That I was like a snake and could shed my old skin and grow a new one. I honestly don't know why I'm crying right now. I can't justify it with a reason or an action only a feeling. I felt this wave of sadness just hit me. It was full of fear, insecurity, longing, and just sad. I don't know why this keeps happening to me and I wanna talk about it with someone but I can't. There's something stopping me from talking to anyone. I feel like they'll think I'm pathetic, obsessive, insecure, and maybe I am. But then again maybe I'm not. Maybe what I'm feeling isn't pathetic, obsessive, or insecure at all. Maybe its just fate. Maybe I'm supposed to be miserable because I'm going to get something or someone that'll make me over the moon happy. Maybe he'll come back. Maybe he won't. I just wish life didn't torture me like this! I wanted to get over him a year and half ago, but it looks like to me life won't let it be that easy. What do I have to do to deserve happiness? What do I have to do to deserve love? Do I deserve anything at all or am I just too insignificant and ugly and useless to even matter to someone else? Hey life it's me calling, I just wanted to know if you're going to give me my sanity back. You can reach me at any time at 1-800-Loved and Lost. And while you're at it a time machine would be nice so I can go back in time and not ever meet him. Thanks. Yourself.